Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Fork in the Road

My big 3-0 birthday is right around the corner. Just a few weeks to be exact. I love birthdays! I always have. Probably because I have always been surrounded by people who made them extra special for me. I'm sure this year will be no exception to the excitement factor. From Mothers Day til the end of June, our family indulges in full-on celebration because of multiple birthdays and holidays. You just can't beat it. This year I'm pretty stoked because I get to be a runner for Christian rock band Seventh Day Slumber who will be performing as part of the Ten Talents Presents monthly concert series (insert plug here: Tickets are on sale NOW!). A pretty fun way to spend my 30th, if I do say so myself.

So you're probably asking yourself, "Self, what does this have to do with a fork in the road?" Well weight has always been a struggle for people in my family. Whether it be the high blood pressure/Type II diabetes issues, or the roller coasters of dieting, weight issues have been prevalent for the majority of  people in my family. Obviously, I am no exception. I've never been tiny, but I was healthy. Around 24 I started gaining and gaining weight - 280 at my highest. Now I'm around 240. My blood pressure is in check, and I haven't had Type II issues, but I'm sure if I keep going this way it will be lurking around the corner for me.

As I approach my 30th birthday I keep thinking about something my dad used to tell me : "Missy, if you don't lose this weight by the time your 30 it will get even harder to lose and you might not lose it at all." Well here I am, 2-1/2 weeks from my 30th birthday and 100 pounds over weight. I feel like I am standing in the middle of this road and I have a decision to make. Either I will continue down this path of being a fast food junkie, or I will take my health into my hands and get down to the business of getting healthy. Over the years, it has seemed that I will take a few steps down the healthy road, and then BAM! I'm right back on the unhealthy road because it's my comfort zone - it's the thing I fall back on because I'm busy. I don't want to live that way, and I especially don't want C5 to live that way (or worse have to live without a mom because I haven't taken care of myself).

I thought the actual eating fork in the road was appropriate for this post. My faith is a huge part of this journey, and I keep thinking about a verse from Matthew 7 that says, "The gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it." If this journey was easy, everyone would be doing it.  I am worth more than wasting away in a vat of fast food disgustingness, and my son and my husband are worth more than that. They are worth me being my best. Living my healthiest, best life. I know that in my heart and my mind knows what it takes to be healthy, so why is it so difficult to commit? Why is it so hard to turn your back on something you know is KILLING you? How many times does my logical mind have to say it before the rest of me believes it and takes a firm step (not a willie-nillie try) toward getting healthy? 100? 1,000? 1,000,000? How many times til I'm really ready to make that change?

So here I am at the fork.

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